As William Shakespeare so eloquently wrote in Mac Beth, Act II, Scene III:

“ Drink, sir, is a great provoker….Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance.- “

Women need to be especially mindful when consuming alcohol.  There are various reasons for this:  their smaller body size, different % of body fat and slower enzymatic metabolism of alcohol.  All of these create a higher blood alcohol level in women compared to men. 

A “standard” drink means any alcoholic drink that contains approximately 0.6 fluid ounces or 14 grams of “pure” alcohol.  This equates to:

• ·        12 fluid ounces ( fl.oz)  of regular beer
• ·        8 fl.oz. of malt liquor
• ·        4-5 ounces of table wine
• ·        3 ounces of fortified wine ( sherry or port)
• ·        2 ounces of cordial, aperitif
• ·        1.5 fl.oz of “hard” liquor – 80-proof ( 40% alcohol content).

5 Holiday tips to stay mindful (and not hung-over the next day!)

1)      Drink lots of water.  Before ordering that glass of cabernet or margarita on the rocks, remember to drink a glass of water.  Have one glass of water per each alcoholic beverage.  Hydration (and moderation) is key!

2)      Eat food:  Choose healthy options, if possible.  Skip the salted chips with onion dip and go for the veggies with hummus dip.  By eating food, you will slow the rate of alcohol absorption into your body.

3)      Alternate with water or non-alcoholic drinks.  This will keep your hands busy as well as keeping you hydrated.

4)      Don’t cave into peer pressure.  If you don’t want to have that extra drink, politely say “No”.  You’ll be happy for it in the morning.

5)      Have a plan to get home safely.  Designate a driver for the evening who agrees not to drink during the evening’s festivities and is responsible for getting everyone home safely.  Or, take a cab if needed.    The cost of fare is well worth it!

For tips on how to stay mindful with all parts of life, please register for the Vibrantly You Well Being Symposium.   For the month of December, we will be cutting the price for each ticket, from $97 to $75!

Please see discount code: R & C to obtain discounted price.

A savings of $22 dollars a ticket!  Invite some friends and celebrate January with a boost of healthy energy and excitement!  To register, go to: www.vibrantly-you.com 

Lighting the way…

Hot flashes occur in over 85% of women during the years around menopause.  For many women, hormone therapy may not be an option for turning down the heat from night sweats and hot flashes.  After release of the Women’s Health Initiative (WHI) in July 2002, many women abruptly stopped their hormone therapy (HT) while others questioned their  safety.    Initial results from WHI showed an increase in breast cancer, heart attack, and stroke.  With a decade of hindsight we now better know the true risks and benefits of HT.  Even with this new evidence showing a major benefit in women starting hormone therapy near the time of menopause (within 10 years), there may still be many women who may not be able to take estrogen.   What are some of their options? 

Hot flashes, also known as hot flushes are very common.  These are commonly known “vasomotor symptoms” in the research and are categorized by severity and frequency:

•  Mild: a feeling of warmth in the face, neck and chest.
•  Moderate: feeling of warmth with sweating
•  Severe: feeling of warmth, with sweating and loss of concentration

What are the options available for women who cannot take HT?

After reviewing numerous studies, I have compiled a list of non-hormonal prescription  and non-prescription medications which have been shown to decrease hot flashes.   Interestingly, many of these clinical trials were done in women with a history of breast cancer, receiving tamoxifen.  Furthermore, many of these trials had a very high placebo rate, i.e. those women not receiving the study medication   (placebo pill) showed  a high rate of benefit compared to those receiving the actual study medication.  This is known as the “placebo effect”.  In these studies, the placebo response rate ranged from 18-40%.

Non-hormonal/ Prescription Medications                                         

1)      SSRI’s/SSNRI’s : Best results occurred with Venlafaxine ( Effexor)  with 63% reduction in hot flashes in patients receiving 75 mg dose, vs. 45% in those receiving lower dose ( 37.5 mg) compared to 20% reduction in placebo group.  The next best was Paroxetine (Paxil), followed by Fluoxetine (Prozac).

2)      Gabapentin ( Neurontin); 45% decrease in hot flashes vs. 29% placebo, at dose of 300 mg three times a day.

3)      Clonidine ( Catapres): very few studies with only short term use, up to 12 weeks, reduces hot flashes by 15-20%., with dose of 0.1 mg/day.

4)      Belladonna/ergotamine tartrate/Phenobarbital combination ( Bellergal): decreased hot flashes by 75 % vs. 68% in placebo, dose of one tablet three times a day.

   Black Kohash plant

Non-hormonal /Non-prescription Options

1)      Black Kohash: This is the most studied and popular herb for treatment of hot flashes.   Results of studies show inconsistent results and dosages varied.  American College of Ob/Gyn ( ACOG) states that black kohash may be helpful in the short-term ( less than six months) treatment of women with vasomotor symptoms.

2)      Soy isoflavones: Studies showed inconsistent results. Some showed significant reduction in women with moderate to severe hot flashes.    ACOG recommends that soy and isoflavones  be used in the short-term , less than 2 years and that they should be used with caution in women with an estrogen-dependent cancer,  given the possible interaction with estrogen (39).

3)      Red Clover, Ginseng, Evening Primrose oil, Wild Yam: In clinical trials, no significant difference in hot flash reduction compared to placebo.  I have included these because many patients  frequently do use these remedies and do find some relief, although for only a short period of time

Take Home Tips:

1)      Hot flashes occur very frequently in women around the time of menopause and can significantly affect a woman’s quality of life.

2)      A thorough medical history should be taken to rule out other causes for hot flashes, such as thyroid disease.

3)      Evaluation of current medications and conditions should be considered with you and your health care provider to determine the best option for you, be it hormonal, or non-hormonal. 

4)      There are prescription medications available as well as herbal remedies.

5)      Consult with your health care provider before initiating any treatment.

Then you too, can be lying in the green grass…calm, cool and collected!

Lighting the way…

Citations:

1. 1.      Roussouw, JE. Et al.  (2002) Writing Group for the Women’s Health Initiative Investigators.  Risks and benefits of estrogen plus progestin in healthy postmenopausal women: principal results from the Women’s Health Initiative randomized control trial.  JAMA; 288: 321-33.

1. 2.      Carroll, DG. (2006). Nonhormonal Therapies for Hot Flashes in Menopause. Am Fam Physician, Feb 1; 73 (3): 457-464.

Are you tired of those bothersome hot flashes?  Sweating during a meeting and losing your train of thought?  Soaking the sheets at night?

Well, you’re not alone!   Approximately eighty-five percent of the women in the United States are experiencing hot flashes of some kind as they approach menopause, and for the first few years after their periods stop.  In fact, 20-50% of women continue to experience them for up to 5 years and 15% will continue to have them their entire life!   Want some secret tips to turn down the heat?

 What are hot flashes?

A hot flash is a sudden, intense, warm feeling which occurs on the face, neck and upper body which can last for a few seconds, minutes or longer.   It can be accompanied by faster heart rate, sweating, and loss of thought.  Some women even experience an “aura”, an uneasy feeling just before the hot flash occurs, warning them of its imminent assault.   This flash is often followed by a flush, which leaves you reddened and perspiring.  At night, these same symptoms are called night sweats.

What causes hot flashes?

Hot flashes are usually caused by the hormonal changes occurring during menopause, specifically the precipitous decline in estrogen levels.   Some of these symptoms can also be affected by lifestyle and medications.  With the steep decline in estrogen levels during menopause, the brain experiences certain changes.  Specifically, the hypothalamus, the control center for appetite, sleep cycles, sex hormones and body temperature is affected.   The drop in estrogen confuses the hypothalamus to think that it’s “thermostat” is reading “too hot”.   

Because of this heat overload, your brain sends signals to vital organs to get rid of the heat.  Your heart rate quickens, blood vessels dilate and nervous system is activated with release of epinephrine, prostaglandins and serotonin.  Within seconds, the blood vessels in your skin dilate, radiating off heat, and sweat glands produce sweat to cool you off.    It has been reported that in some women the skin temperature can rise as much as six degrees Fahrenheit!  Your body cools down because it thinks it too hot, making you sweat during the middle of a board meeting or in the middle of a good night’s sleep.

Decrease hot flashes by avoiding these triggers:

• Stress
• Caffeine
• Alcohol
• Spicy foods
• Tight clothing
• Heat
• Cigarette smoke

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Could this erotic trilogy be causing a virtual baby boom?   Not to mention an apparent shortage of certain rope in the United States?   The first of these queries was recently posed to me by an interviewer for Parent Magazine.  It piqued my interest into the possibility that this steamy, erotic novel is awakening women’s desire from water coolers to book club groups, and boardrooms to bedrooms.

Are Baby Boomers having more sex because of Fifty Shades of Grey? …

Yes,  according to Babycenter.com, a large online community of moms and expectant moms, over 150 women have posted that their pregnancies were directed related to sex inspired activity by the best selling trilogy.  The Huffington Post adds that an increasing number of women are reporting more spontaneity and frequency of sexual encounters (1).  Depending on whether contraception is being used, more pregnancies may be occurring due to the increased…More enthusiasm and creativity is entering the bedroom, not only leading to more conceptions, but also a boom in the sales of sex toys.  According to Lisa Lawless, Ph.D, creator of Holistic Wisdom website, “Women and men are benefiting from these books as it is allowing them to consider sexual creativity and exploration in ways that they perhaps had not considered.”(2)

Are Men interested in Fifty Shades? — Fifty Shades Too Boring?

According to a recent survey in the Village Voice, Fifty Shades of Grey: Do Dudes Even Care About E.L. James’ Steamy Trilogy?, the resounding answer was “no”. (3) One response from a 34 year-old business owner, summed it up.  “My wife is reading it right now.  I have no idea how it’s affecting our sex life.  I don’t know if it’s impacted it at all.  Maybe you should ask her.” Yet other sites have claimed that men are reaping the sexual benefits of their partner’s increased sexual desire, while not specifically reading the book themselves.

For those men who might not be so inclined to download it on their Kindle or i-pad, a special, shortened version  is available. Tom Paolangeli is the author of “A Guy’s Secret Guide to Fifty Shades of Grey”, a cliff note version of the original book by E.L.James written from a man’s perspective.   He advises, “Trust me – you do not want to read the book. It was written by a woman, for women. Most guys will find it dull, stupid, tiresome and waaaay too long. The ratio of tedious inner female monologue to sex scenes is about fifty shades of boring to one.”  But he also that by reading a few sections of the book, “…your odds of having hot sex with your sweetie will go up exponentially…” (4)

What does Dr. Oz think?

Recently, Dr. Oz offered his opinion regarding the impact of the E.L. James’ blockbuster trilogy.  “She has gotten people talking about sex in a way that no one else could get them to talk about it…. What it is about is people having an honest conversation about what sex should be like, what makes it feel better, what are the timing issues, how do we make it an important issue in our life rather than an afterthought.”

Well, Dr. Oz, I thought that was what my book, Healthy Sex Drive, Healthy You: What Your Libido Reveals About Your Life, was supposed to do!  Perhaps my book took on a too clinical and practical approach rather than a bondage and submission angle.  Maybe then my book would be on the New York best seller list, too.   Brings back vague memories of how I should have bought Starbuck’s stock back in the early 1990’s.

When will this “Fifty Shades” bonanza end? 

Not anytime soon.   Apparently, a movie series is in the making with the cast being set as we speak.  In addition, E L. James has chosen a company in the United Kingdom, Caroline Mickler Ltd, as the global licensing agent for merchandise based on her racy books with a line of Fifty-Shades’ based lingerie/sleepwear, apparel, fragrances, beauty products, bedding , etc.”.(5)    Sales of sex toys are sky-rocketing, including the sale of rope.

According to the New York Post, New York hardware stores have seen a run on sales of rope, and other bondage gear, bought by female fans of Fifty Shades (6).  Watch out for the soon-to-be shortage of  hand-cuffs and riding crops!!

Share your views on the book.   

Feel free to use an alias or your initials with your post.  It’s a tender topic and I respect your views and candor.

Has it impacted your sex life?  If so, in what way?

Has the frequency of sex increased for you and your partner?

Has your partner read it?

Citations:

1)   www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/26/fifty-shades-of-grey-names_n_1707842.html

2)   www.holisticwisdom.com/fifty-shades-james-sex-toys-bondage.htm.

3)   www.villagevoice.com/runninscared/2012/07/fifty_shades_of_gre_men_react.php

4)   www.amazon.com/Secret-Guide-Fifty-Shades-ebook/dp/8008080RDFRU

5)   www.theadvocate.com/utility/homepagestories/2675013-129/men-are-fans-too-of

6)  www.nypost.com/p/news/local/ny_gals_learning_the_ropes_at_fifty_sVWWKeksj9WKUto2ITg/KK

Middle of the Rapids!

Yes, clinging onto a rock in the middle of the raging rapids along the Lower Fork of the Salmon River.  This is the exact spot where I found myself during a recent river rafting adventure in Idaho.  The trip was called, Reflections on the River, led by an amazing mindfulness and meditation instructor.  I imagined the journey to be filled with peaceful days – flowing down the river, lazily and carelessly.   But this wasn’t exactly what happened on this particular day…

My nails clawed onto the rock, attempting to gain a better grip which proved difficult because of the slippery green grass covering its sides.  I gasped for air and filled my lungs with deep breaths.

What was I doing propped against a rock in the middle of a raging rapid?

Wasn’t I supposed to be on vacation?!

Only a few minutes earlier, we had been “securely” nestled in our tandem kayak.

I was seated in front and the leader of our group, an adept rower and canoe expert, was in the back.  That morning, we had kayaked quite well together and I had started to feel more confident with my kayaking skills.  This abruptly changed when we came upon this particular set of rapids!

One thing that I’ve learned about rapids – you better “take” them the right way.  We didn’t exactly “take” them the right way as we headed straight down.  Within seconds, we were drawn down by the raging current then catapulted onto a steep rock face.  A ninety-degree angle with the water is never a position a kayak should be in!

The kayak flipped –  propelling the two of us into the raging water.   Paddles went flying.  Kayak went sailing down the river.  The force of the current pulled me down and I couldn’t determine which way was up.  I gasped for air and swallowed large gulps of water.   Then, amazingly, I found myself propped up against a rock.    I saw my kayaking partner going down the river, taking the rapid on the left side holding onto the kayak as it was being swept down.

What do I do now?   I first needed some deep breaths to realize what the hell just happened.  Did I really just get thrown off the kayak?  Was I really clinging onto to this rock in the middle of a raging Class 3-4 rapid?

Surprisingly, I was not filled with fear.  Yes, I was afraid, but fear did not overwhelm me.   I did realize that this wasn’t the best situation to find myself in – literally up a river…with no paddle or kayak!!

What were my options?   Luckily, my survival instincts kicked in and two options came to me.  Option #1: to be rescued by another boat.  Option #2: to let go and face the rapids by myself sans paddle or kayak.   At first, the possibility that another boat might “save” me, seemed plausible.  Yet after a few minutes surveying the water’s course, the probability of a paddle boat stopping in the midst of the rapid and snatching me up,  soon vanished.

Option #2.  Let Go!   I felt the surge of water against the side and back of my body.  I watched how the river’s powerful force carefully carved passages between the boulders studded in its path.  Downstream lay much calmer water, but not for some distance.

What about the rocks?  Would I hit one?

I looked around at the shore.  There was Lindsay, my “celestial” member of the group.  We had kayaked together the day before and developed a bond while navigating the rapids.   She had stopped with her kayak downstream on the left side of the river’s shore.    I spotted her there and my heart immediately filled with warmth and sense of connection.   She looked at me, smiled, and calmly signaled me with a “two thumbs up” sign.

Yes, this was my sign – I had to let go.  I had to let go of the rock. 

I took a few more deep breaths, knowing that there was about 150 feet of raging rapids to go down.    I was at the river’s mercy.  If this was my time, I needed to have faith and trust.  That morning, during our meditation, our leader said, “The river is our mother and we are her garden…”

 Well, “Mother River”, I said, “what do you have in store for me?”

One more deep breath before letting my fingers loosen from their death grip on the rock.   Then I was released –  into the powerful rapids, heading straight down with my feet in front of me and buttocks tucked under.   (Note:  This is what you’re supposed to do, should you ever find yourself in this situation!)   The strong current took me under and flailed me high over the waves.  I felt my body crashing down and then rising up against the powerful crests of water.  Wave after wave came with amazing force pulling me under and then shooting me to the top.  I couldn’t get any air.  I just kept telling myself that there was an endpoint – calmer water lay ahead.

It seemed to be an eternity before I could finally see my paddle group up ahead.   I had made it through!  I swam furiously towards the safety of the paddle boat.  I could tell by their facial expressions that they had feared the worst-  not seeing any signs of me for quite some time.   The rafting guide hoisted me up by the straps of my life vest into the paddle boat.  I felt an immediate sense of relief when my feet landed on the sturdy rubber surface.    I took deep breaths of wonderful air and gazed at their smiling faces.

 A metaphor for life….This amazing experience can be seen as a metaphor for life.  How many times have we felt the need to cling onto something and not let go?  Our “rocks” may take many forms – relationships, jobs, thought patterns, belief systems, etc?   We hold onto this false sense of security – believing that this “rock” will provide us permanent solace and safety.  In actuality, we all know that we need to let go and have the courage to face life’s challenges… no matter what situation is presented to us!

A wonderful passage by the late Irish poet, John O’Donohue, presents it beautifully:

“In our day to day lives, we often show courage without realizing it.  However, it is only when we are afraid that courage becomes a question.  Courage is amazing because it can tap into the heart of fear, taking that frightening energy and turning it towards initiative, creativity, action and hope.  When courage comes alive, imprisoning walls becomes frontiers of new possibility, difficulty becomes invitation and the heart comes into a new rhythm of trust and sureness.  There are great sources of courage inside every human heart; yet courage needs to be awakened in us….Courage is a spark that can become the flames of hope, lighting new and exciting pathways in what seemed  to be dead, dark landscapes.”

Lessons learned.

I am grateful to the river for many invaluable lessons.  This experience re-awakened the courage in me to face life’s challenges straight on and cherish each day as a true “gift”.   One major lesson was that I had survived this near death experience!  From this, came the  need to fulfill my mission in life – to be a leader in women’s health and  empower women ( and men!) to lead the most fulfilling lives possible.  To not hold back, but go for our dreams!

Life is not a dress rehearsal – it is here, right now, right in front of us.  We only have the present.  No need to waste energy on the past or worry about the future.  We may not have absolute control over what happens to us, such as being flipped from a kayak in the midst of a raging rapid,  but we can control how we choose to react to life’s challenges.

Over the past 2 weeks, I’ve pondered over the “rocks” in my life.   What things was I clinging onto?  What was I resisting and not letting go of?

Hopefully by reading this you will be inspired to look at the “rocks” lying in your river of life —and choose to ultimately let go!

Questions for reflection:

• What things are you holding onto?
• What do you need to let go of?
• Do you have courage and faith in your river’s path?

Please share any of your thoughts or experiences of “letting go”.

We’ve all heard it.  ”Drink cranberry juice to flush out a bladder infection!”  Is this really a medical remedy?

The answer is, Yes!

According to new research published in Archives of Internal Medicine, cranberry- containing products, especially cranberry juice, protect women against bladder infections, especially those prone to recurrent infections. (1)
Bladder infections, or urinary tract infections (UTI’s), are on the most commonly acquired bacterial infections, leading to approximately 7 million office visits and 1 million visits to emergency departments each year in the US, with estimated annual cost of $1.6 billion dollars. Approximately, 40-50% of women will experience at least one episode of UTI during their lifetimes.   Some of my patients experience many more!

Fact or folklore?
For years, cranberry juice, and its derivative tablets and capsules, were perceived merely as a folk remedy to prevent UTI’s. Now, findings indicate that cranberry-containing products legitimately do contain powerful substances which protect against UTI’s – in the general population of women, as well as highly susceptible women, such as pregnant women or elderly patients.
The research reviewed 13 different randomized, controlled trials involving over 1,600 men, women and children of different populations including the elderly. The majority of trials were conducted in North America with the remainder performed in Finland, Italy and the United Kingdom.
How do cranberries help prevent bladder infections?
Cranberry ( genus Vaccinium) has been shown to contain a specific substance, known as A-type proanthocyanidins (PAC’s) which interfere with the way bacteria attach to the bladder wall.

To get a bit more technical, the PAC’s inhibit the adherence of P-fimbriated Escherichia coli (or E. coli, the most common bacteria leading to UTI) to urogenital mucosa. Cranberry juice was more effective than capsules or tablets, most likely due to the fact the women drinking the juice consumed approximately 2-3 glasses of cranberry juice /day and thus were better hydrated. The exact dose of PAC’s to prevent UTI’s has yet to be determined, so limit your intake of juice and increase water intake.
Here are 5 tips to decrease your risk of UTI.

1) Stay hydrated. Drink 6-8 glasses of water every day. If you feel some symptoms of UTI coming on, such as burning when you urinate or urinating more frequently, add 1-2 glasses of cranberry juice to your daily intake. (One caution: cranberry juice contains a large amount of sugar so if you are diabetic, speak with your physician before this.)

2) Be careful with personal hygiene. Always clean your genital area from front to back to avoid spreading bacteria from your rectum to your vagina.

3) Urinate after sex. This will help flush out the bacteria that may be heading towards your urethra, which is the opening where urine comes out from your bladder.

4) Avoid the use of scented soaps, feminine deodorants and colored toilet paper. These may contain chemicals which can irritate your genital area.

5) Avoid prolonged activities that may increase urinary tract infections such as prolonged bicycle rides, horse riding or motorcycles. Instead, take a break every 1-2 hours and empty your bladder.
If you are persistently prone to UTI’s, especially after having sex, your physician may prescribe an antibiotic which will prevent these infections.

So stock up on some cranberry juice! Your bladder will thank you for it.

Citations:

1) Wang, CH., et al(2012).  Cranberry-Containing Products for Prevention of Urinary Tract Infections in Susceptible Populations:  A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis of Randomized Controlled Trials.  Arch Intern Med; 172 (13); 988-996.

Please share any other tips you may have to reduce or treat bladder infections.  The Listen To Your Libido Community is waiting to hear from you!

Is e-mail bogging you down?

With so many social media networks, literally at our fingertips, it’s no wonder that we can’t keep up with them.  They are taking a toll on our nerves… as well as our libidos!  Every day we are bombarded by hundreds, or potentially thousands, of e-mails, texts, tweets and Facebook messages.

How are we supposed to juggle all of them?   This presents quite a daunting task to many of us!  Yet according to some social media gurus, it is possible to attain a healthy balance between these media…and find time for fun in life!

Isn’t e-mail supposed to keep us more organized? 

It was always my impression that e-mail, with its “reply”, “forward”, and other options, was developed to streamline our activities, increase organization, and expand our social “connections”.  Lately, I’ve found myself fearing  my “in-box”.  I didn’t want to “open”  my mail lest I discover how many “new” e-mails were lurking in my future.

The wake –up call :

It happened just a few days ago, when I dauntingly opened my “in-box”, only to find a staggering number of e-mails lying within – a whopping 1,019 e-mails,  waiting for my finger to tap the “read” button.   Thoughts of taking a hammer to my computer quickly entered my mind, but fortunately, I calmed myself before taking this blustering action.

A more civil plan was in order – and I needed to take responsibility for creating this media monster.  Over the past weeks, I had been operating within an extreme state of denial  ( that they actually existed) and guilt ( “how could I delete messages sent by other people?”).   The thought of literally erasing all of them with a quick click of my finger, or triaging them to a different folder, just hadn’t been a viable option for me.  Until…

The Solution!

I’m participating in a social media class, Creating Fame,  led by renowned media guru, Laura K. Roeder.   Luckily, in one of the sessions, I watched a healing and inspiring video by Merlin Mann, called “zero in-box”.  Wow, there actually was a way for me to take back control of my “in-box monger”!

 In his video, Mr. Mann recommends that we start by having a “processing” system.  According to this system, you can choose between five options of what to do with each e-mail. 

Five Choices to take Action:

1)       Delete:  Yes, it now has become my favorite!  Start by eliminating those e-mails which you don’t need to read, are spam or just “junk”.  Unsubscribe to those you  don’t read or need.

2)      Delegate:  Another favorite!  Consider if the e-mail could be better answered by someone else.  Possibly a staff member, business partner or friend?

3)      Respond:  Answer the e-mail – using maximum of 4-5 sentences.  You aren’t being rude, you’re being efficient and succinct.

4)      Defer: Maybe this e-mail needs a bit more thought – either click as “read as new” or put in a “To-Do “ folder which you check later that day.

5)      Do:  Take the action needed and move onto next e-mail.  An example would be entering an upcoming event in your PDA or google calendar.

We only have 24 hours in a day!   Let’s start having more fun and doing the things that bring us happiness – rather than burdening our daily lives with too many e-mails!

Please share your own tips and personal ways of controlling your “in-box monster”.

The Listen to Your Libido Community is waiting to hear from you!

Please share your tips and comments below.

To watch the Merlin Mann video, click on : http://inboxzero.com/video/

Sounds like an oxymoron, right?  But it’s true.

Now it’s the man’s turn to assume some responsibility in the contraceptive arena!  No longer is it just a man’s choice between using condoms  or getting a vasectomy.  Amazing new options are on the horizon!  Researchers are investigating various forms, targeted solely towards men, which are showing very promising results.  These options range from a long-acting injectable gel to a quick-acting male pill that could potentially markedly reduce the transmission of HIV.

According to a recent survey conducted by the U.S. Government’s Center for Disease Control (CDC), more than 80 percent of heterosexual women have used birth control pills at some point in their lives to prevent pregnancy.    Birth control pills became available to women in the 1960’s and represent the most common contraceptive used in the United States today.  Interestingly, global demand for male birth control appears increasingly popular, with a 2005 German survey revealing that 60 percent of men in Spain, Germany, Brazil and Mexico are willing to use a male contraceptive.

What is this new injection procedure?

It’s called Vasalgel and involves an injection into a man’s genitals which inhibits sperm motility.  It’s a new form of contraception known as, RISUG, reversible inhibition of sperm under guidance (1).  Yes, many men may become queasy just imagining a needle being injected into these tender areas.  After receiving a local anesthetic, a small amount of polymer gel is inserted into the vas deferens of each testicle.   The vas deferens is the conduit which transports sperm from the testicle to the penis.  The procedure apparently takes less than 15 minutes, works by destroying the sperm, lasts up to 10 or more years and is more easily reversible than a vasectomy!

When and if the man decides to return his sperm back to speedy and motile swimmers, another shot is given.  Within 2-3 months, active, functional sperm are functioning again.

These studies have been ongoing for the past 25 years and found to be safe in both humans and animals.  Researchers are optimistic that the procedure will become available in the U.S. by 2015, with clinical trials beginning this year.  At present, trials are only being conducted in India.

What about the new male birth control pill? 

In Papua Island, Indonesia, tribesmen have discovered a shrub called “Gandarusa” that acts like a birth control pill for men.  Per one tribesman, “If you chew the leaves often enough, your wife won’t get pregnant.”  The potential benefits derived from this shrub are undergoing close evaluation and appear to work by slowing down the activity of certain enzymes in the sperm that allow them to penetrate a woman’s egg.  For fertilization to occur, a sperm must enter the egg.  According to Sugiri Syarief, the head of Indonesia’s state-run National Family Planning Coordination Board, multiple animal and human trials have been conducted since the 1990’s and the plant’s effective compound was patented in 2007.  Researchers have tested the pill on two different groups of male volunteers, the first 36 men, and later with 120 men.  Trials involving more than 350 men are presently being done to verify that the sperm remain healthy yet are incapable of this critical penetration process in fertilization.

What else is looming on the horizon? 

Possibly another type of male birth control pill may become available.  Discovered by accident while studying male infertility patients, a group of Scottish scientists recently found a key gene essential for sperm development.   Per Dr. Lee Smith at the University of Edinburgh in Scotland, if scientists are able to regulate the Katna1 gene in the testes, they could prevent sperm from maturing completely, making them ineffective without changing hormone levels (2).

So why hasn’t the male birth control pill become available in the United States?

Profit, or lack thereof, is the apparent culprit!   Per Elaine Lissner, director of the non-profit Male Contraception Information Project in San Francisco, the impasse to male birth control pills has been the lack of profitability for the pharmaceutical giants.  “It’s a nightmare from the ‘for-profit’ standpoint.  We have to accept that the needs of for-profit entities and the needs of the public don’t always perfectly match.”

Definitely makes one wonder – what are pharmaceutical companies actually pouring their financial resources into?  Another drug for erectile dysfunction which makes a hearty return on investment or a male birth control pill which yields little return but carries huge global population impact?  Well, time will tell but I’m thinking the former!

What do you think?  Please share your comments!

Citations:

1. http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/news/asia-pacific/indonesia/110224/indonesia-birth-control-pill-papua-men

2. http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/news/health/120525/sperm-gene-discovery-could-lead-to-male-birth-control-pill

If you could fantasize about having a hot, sexy encounter anywhere in the world, where would it be?

My last blog highlighted the nation’s infatuation with the female erotic novel, Fifty Shades of Grey. In this romantic novel, the virginal female protagonist, Anastasia Grey, engages in sexual encounters with the gorgeous, multifaceted male hero, Christian Grey. In his house, Christian and Anastasia explore the boundaries of their sexual relationship in a small, ….. coined, “ the red room”.

And while we might fantasize about having a “red room” built into our own homes, where else would you dream about fueling the fires of desire?

Can you guess what the #1 place was for women? For men?

An intriguing study, recently done by the Durex Corporation, posed this exact question to 1,000 American adults, ages 18 and older, between March 16- March 23, 2012. Interestingly, the Durex Corporation manufactures condoms and conducts multiple titillating trials on sexual health every year. In this particular study, called the InSync Study, the top tryst sites to “get it on” were surveyed.

What was the number one place for women? The Eifel Tower! Yes, the highest percentage of women interviewed, 33 percent, fantasized about a sexual rendezvous at this romantic icon nestled in the heart of Paris.

For men? Amazingly, the White House! Thirty-one percent of the men polled chose the site associated with extreme power — and where some of our past presidents have even engaged in romantic interludes.

How can we explain these results? Interestingly, quite easily. Women, in general, love romance. Just imagine hearing the sweet sound of French music playing in the background, the smell of….in the air, the slight breeze brushing across your cheeks, the taste of his gentle kiss as you both gaze upon the river Seine. Wow, even I was being carried away with that one!!

For men, sexual fantasy is more about power. The White House is the ultimate symbol of authority, respect and command of our nation.

Why do we fantasize about having sex in mysterious places? Because too many of our sex lives are in a “rut” and need some major resuscitation! In fact, half of Americans interviewed in this same study were dissatisfied with their bedroom escapades. Of respondents interviewed, 37% admitted that their intimate time ends far too quickly. On the flip side, 14% revealed that sex lasts longer than they would like.

Some good news…

Even before Fifty Shades of Grey hit the shelves and heated women’s sexual desires across the country, Americans were already becoming more adventurous in the bedroom. According to another study by Durex, called the Durex Global Sexual Wellbeing Survey , which interviewed over 29,000 adults, aged 18 and older, between Sept 6 and October 3, 2011, American couples are actually trying new things to spice it up and get more “in sync” in the bedroom. These included using new types of lubricants (53%), adult toys and aids (39%), and rings (11%).

Can’t fly to Paris or Washington, D.C.? Or build your own red room?

Well, here are some places to heat things up in your home.

Top 5 places to have sex – around the house!
1. In the shower. Lathering each other with body wash can get you both incredibly squeaky clean as well as get you feeling sensuous.
2. In the bath tub. If the shower sounds a bit too acrobatic, run a bubble bath, soak in the wonderful…. And give each other a foot massage. Then feel free to massage other places.
3. In the kitchen. Remember the scene from “The Mailman Always Rings Twice”? Maybe while cooking up a delicious meal with your honey, sipping a glass of wine, slowly stirring the garlic simmering in the olive oil… you get the drift!
4. In the backyard. Just make sure that there are some trees or other shrubs to obstruct your neighbor’s view!
5. In the laundry room… think spin cycle.

Citations:
1) InSync Study, Durex Corporation, http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/durex-survey-reveals-what-americans-really-want-in-the-bedroom-149464045.html
2) Durex Global Sexual Wellbeing Survey: http://www.durex.com/en-ca/sexualwellbeingsurvey.

Not since the Kamasutra was released, has a book created such a stir, sexually speaking! The book is Fifty Shades of Grey – It’s name insinuates a multitude of meanings with sexual content raising eyebrows across the country. Some critics claim that the explicit scenes of bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism (BDSM) are “disturbing” and depict flagrant violence against women. Others have applauded the book for waking up the dormant sex drives of American women, who are buying up the book in droves, touting it as “Mommy Porn” and “Twilight for Adults”.

Having heard the numerous rumors , I felt compelled to explore what truly was being discussed at water coolers, book clubs, playgrounds, and senior citizen centers across the country.

Let’s start with a little history behind the book. Apparently, Fifty Shades of Grey, written by E.L. James, began as fan fiction of the “Twilight” series , and was independently published.(1) Through numerous social media networks, word of mouth, and women-centric blogs, the trilogy, Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, and Fifty Shades Freed, now occupies the top 3 spots on the New York Times Fiction List! As one would have predicted, the rights for the trilogy were recently acquired by Vintage Books for a seven-figure sum and plans for a star-studded Hollywood movie are in the making.

So why all the buzz?

Well, it has to do with the controversial topic of BDSM which does not routinely appear in romance novels. This book explores what it is that women are seeking within an intimate relationship. Is it to be submissive? Or be taken away? According to author, E.L. James, it’s probably a bit of both. Her protagonist, Anastasia Steele is a young and sexually naive college student who is seduced by a rich, powerful, bondage-loving billionaire, Christian Grey. Grey proposes a contract to Steele which would allow him complete control over her life, both inside and outside of the bedroom walls.

For many readers, the book is an unfolding romance of vulnerability that extends beyond the normal comfort zones of sexual experiences. Others claim that the explicit sexual scenes constitute a woman’s “rape fantasy”. This is where the controversy really starts to heat up. Do women truly want to be submissive and dominated by a man or do they want to merely fantasize about it?

Maybe, female readers relish in the fantasy of being dominated and controlled within the framework of the “red play room” while not agreeing to being dominated by men outside of this arena. According to Rachel Kramer Bussel, former sex columnist and editor of the Best Bondage Erotica of 2012, “it’s about consensually playing with power and eroticizing it in a safe environment.” (2)

What is erotica? Fifty Shades of Grey is the ultimate example of erotica, or romance fiction. Women are magnetized to this, rather than hard core porn. This lies in the fact that erotica and romance novels describe the written form of sexual intimacy, vulnerability and self-exploration. In fact, according to recent statistics, the romance genre generated approximately $1.37 billion ( yes, billion!) in sales, constituting the “single largest share of the fiction market.” In that same year, at least 74.8 million people read a romance novel, with over 90 percent being women. ( 3). Compare this to approximate 100 million men the US and Canada who accessed porn online in 2008. Amazingly, erotica now produces more revenue than does online pornography for men.

Why are women drawn to erotica? Let’s put on our science hats on for a minute. As we all know, men and women differ in many ways— in their sexual drives, sexual responses and stimuli for sexual arousal. In general, men are more visual creatures compared to women who are more auditory and imaginative. This helps explain why men gravitate towards hard core porn literally showing all the graphic details while women would rather ponder the romance, imagining how they might create the scene in their own heads. To put it bluntly, women want to imagine their sexual fantasy, linger in it and feel connected, appreciated and fully understood by the romantic hero. This differs greatly from porn, where there usually is not much story line or character development, but rather consists of impersonal , anonymous, orgasm-driven sex.

Deducing from the fact that so many women across the country are ravenously consuming this book there may be some things missing in our intimate relationships. Aside from reading romance novels, let me share some tips with you to spice up your sex drive and fill in some of the missing pieces.

1. Pamper yourself with some new perfume, new lingerie or hair-do. A small, subtle change can stimulate your libido and boost your self-confidence.
2. Start appreciating your body – stand in the mirror and look at your curves. Know that these curves make you a woman and attractive to your partner.
3. Focus on saying one positive comment about your body, everyday, starting now.

It’s amazing how you’ll feel a sexual shift just by affirming these positive statements. Whatever your belief may be, there is definitely one truth: this book is getting women talking about sex, and stirring up libidos – both in and out of the bedroom!

Have you read it yet? I want to hear your comments!

Citations:
1. James, E.L. Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy, Fifty Shades Darker: Book Two of the Fifty Shades Trilogy, Fifty Shades Freed: Book Three of the Fifty Shades Trilogy, Vintage Books, April 1, 2012
2. http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2012/03/14/erotic-novel-50-shades-grey-unites-women-unnerves-some-men/
3. Ogas, Ogi and Gaddam, Sai. A Billion Wicked Thoughts: What the World’s Largest Experiment Reveals About Human Desire, Dutton: Penguin Books, USA, 2011