Mindful Holiday Cheer

Being mindful during the holiday season can actually be achieved – with a little moderation and helpful tips. Tis the season to be jolly and imbibe responsibly in holiday spirits.  As women, this is especially critical because we metabolize alcohol much more slowly than our male counterparts.

 

As William Shakespeare so eloquently wrote in Mac Beth, Act II, Scene III:

 

“ Drink, sir, is a great provoker….Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance.- “

 

Women need to be especially mindful when consuming alcohol.  There are various reasons for this:  their smaller body size, different % of body fat and slower enzymatic metabolism of alcohol.  All of these create a higher blood alcohol level in women compared to men. 

 

A “standard” drink means any alcoholic drink that contains approximately 0.6 fluid ounces or 14 grams of “pure” alcohol.  This equates to:

 

  • ·        12 fluid ounces ( fl.oz)  of regular beer
  • ·        8 fl.oz. of malt liquor
  • ·        4-5 ounces of table wine
  • ·        3 ounces of fortified wine ( sherry or port)
  • ·        2 ounces of cordial, aperitif
  • ·        1.5 fl.oz of “hard” liquor – 80-proof ( 40% alcohol content).

 

5 Holiday tips to stay mindful (and not hung-over the next day!)

 

1)      Drink lots of water.  Before ordering that glass of cabernet or margarita on the rocks, remember to drink a glass of water.  Have one glass of water per each alcoholic beverage.  Hydration (and moderation) is key!

 

2)      Eat food:  Choose healthy options, if possible.  Skip the salted chips with onion dip and go for the veggies with hummus dip.  By eating food, you will slow the rate of alcohol absorption into your body.

 

3)      Alternate with water or non-alcoholic drinks.  This will keep your hands busy as well as keeping you hydrated.

 

4)      Don’t cave into peer pressure.  If you don’t want to have that extra drink, politely say “No”.  You’ll be happy for it in the morning.

 

5)      Have a plan to get home safely.  Designate a driver for the evening who agrees not to drink during the evening’s festivities and is responsible for getting everyone home safely.  Or, take a cab if needed.    The cost of fare is well worth it!

 

For tips on how to stay mindful with all parts of life, please register for the Vibrantly You Well Being Symposium.   For the month of December, we will be cutting the price for each ticket, from $97 to $75!

 

Please see discount code: R & C to obtain discounted price.

 

A savings of $22 dollars a ticket!  Invite some friends and celebrate January with a boost of healthy energy and excitement!  To register, go to: www.vibrantly-you.com 

 

 

 

 

 

Lighting the way…

Dr. Diana

 

Unhealthy relationship…with your “in-box” ?

Unhealthy Relationship … with your “in-box’?  

Is e-mail bogging you down?

With so many social media networks, literally at our fingertips, it’s no wonder that we can’t keep up with them.  They are taking a toll on our nerves… as well as our libidos!  Every day we are bombarded by hundreds, or potentially thousands, of e-mails, texts, tweets and Facebook messages.

How are we supposed to juggle all of them?
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Talking S-E-X With Your Doctor

When the last time your doctor asked you about sex?

Well, if you’ve been seen at my office, it was probably at your very last visit!

It is estimated that approximately 43% of women in the United States today are experiencing some form of sexual problem, with lack of sexual desire as the leading issue. Yet, in exam rooms across our nation, physicians are not bringing up the topic of sex with their patients.

According to a new University of Chicago survey of more than 1,000 obstetricians and gynecologists in the United States, less than half of the physicians asked their patients about any sexual problems or dysfunction (1). Only two-thirds asked how sexually active their patients are and less than one-third asked their patients about sexual satisfaction. Results of the study were published in Journal of Sexual Medicine with specific results highlighting only 63% routinely asked patients about their sexual activities, with 40% asking about sexual problems, 28.5% asked about sexual satisfaction and approximately 14% asked about pleasure with sexual activity ( 1 in 10 never asked this question at all).

The study’s senior author and associate professor at the University of Chicago Pritzker School of Medicine, Dr. Stacy Lindau, states “sexuality is a key component of a woman’s physical and
psychological health. Simply asking a patient if she’s sexually active does not tell us whether she has good sexual function or changes in her sexual function that could indicate an underlying problem.”

Which physicians are most likely to bring us sexual issues?

Female physicians were more likely than male physicians to discuss sexual activity as well as sexual orientation and identity with female patients. Physicians practicing solely gynecology and not providing obstetrical services were also more likely to screen for sexual dysfunction. Physicians aged 60 years and older were found to be the least likely to discuss a patient’s sexual orientation or identity compared to their younger colleagues ( 11% vs 28% of those aged 46-59 vs. 32% aged 45 or younger.)

According to researchers, about 25 percent of the doctors said they have expressed disapproval of patients’ sexual practices; these were primarily doctors who were foreign medical graduates or ones
who considered religion the most important part of their lives. Those who indicated a Roman Catholic religious affiliation were significantly less likely than others in the survey to ask patients about sexual activities.

Why don’t patients bring up the topic?

“Patients are often reluctant to bring up sexual difficulties because of fear the physician will be embarrassed or will dismiss their concerns,” lead study author Dr. Lindau said. “Doctors should be taking the lead.”

What if your doctor isn’t taking the lead and bringing up sex?

5 Tips for Talking Sex with Your Doctor

1. Acknowledge your discomfort. Start the conversation with being honest about your uneasiness with this topic.

2. Approach it from the health perspective. Sexual issues can signal a larger health problem, such as thyroid disorders, depression, hormonal changes or issues with medications.

3. Write down your questions before your visit. By preparing ahead of time, you won’t forget what you want to ask or feel flustered during the exam.

4. Don’t be rushed. If you’re asking your physician about sexual issues as he/she is leaving the exam room, there won’t be enough time to discuss your concerns. Make a separate
appointment if you need to allow adequate time for this conversation.

5. Find the right doctor. This might be the most challenging of all of these tips. Ideally, you want a physician whom you can confide in, feel comfortable asking questions of, and feel “listened to”. Also, this physician should have the appropriate knowledge regarding sexual issues to help you. A physician who dismisses your concerns or makes you feel ashamed is not the health partner you desire.

You deserve the best quality health care and doctor available – don’t settle for anything less!

Citations:

1. Journal of Sexual Medicine. “What we don’t talk about when we don’t talk about sex”. DOI:10.1111/j. 1743-6109.2012.02702.x
Janelle Sobecki, MA, et al, March 22, 2012.

Sweaty T-shirts and sexual chemistry? Could it be “love at first… scent”?

Maybe it’s not similar interests, looks, horoscope signs or proximity that make men and women fall madly in love., but actually their body smell. Scientists specializing in the field of evolutionary psychology have long known the dramatic effect of pheromones in sexual attraction. Pheromones are subtle chemical signals released in the air which draw pairs of the same species together.

In mice, experiments showed that pheromones acted as attractants between male and females who were genetically similar except that they differed in a certain set of genes, known as the major histocompatibility complex (MHC)(1). This complex plays a key role in immune function. Individuals with different MHC’s would produce offspring with a stronger, more resilient immune system, thus conferring a distinct survival advantage.

What about in humans, who aren’t particularly known for their keen sense of smell? Could females sniff out the scent of their potential sexual partners?

A recent research study done by Swiss zoologist, Claus Wedekind, answered this question (2). In his “sweaty T-shirt” experiment, he recruited volunteers, 49 women and 44 men based on their distinct MHC gene types. He gave all of the male volunteers clean t-shirts to wear for two nights and then instructed them to be returned. In the laboratory, the T-shirts were placed in individual boxes equipped with a smelling hole and asked each female volunteer to sniff the boxes and rate the odor as to intensity, pleasantness, and sexiness.

The results were striking! Women overwhelmingly preferred the scent of T-shirts worn by the men whose MHC differed from their own and described them as the most “sexy”. The T-shirts worn by the males with similar MHC profiles were rated as “fatherly” or “brotherly” — definitely not “relationship” material.

Interestingly, in this same study, women taking the birth control pill did not show this same preference for different MHC genotypes. The theory is that the pill generates a physiological state similar to pregnancy, thereby inhibiting ovulation and hormones produced by the ovary during each menstrual cycle. Pill-users preference for MHC-similar scents turned out not to be a mate preference, but instead a preference of the smell of genetic relatives who would help them from a nepotistic perspective rather than a reproductive one.

In fact, through interviews of hundreds of patients, I have found that those in the happiest relationships with most satisfying sex lives actually crave the smell of their partner. Not only is it their physical appearance or personality that attracts them, but also the distinct smell of their body that gets the sexual juices flowing.

Here are three tips to put the power of scent back into your sex life!

1) Take a good whiff of some of his clothes, like his t-shirt or sweatshirt.
How does it make you feel? Do you think arousing thoughts or think he needs to immediately get his laundry done? Many women feel comfortable and safe when wearing their partner’s shirts because they are picking up his scent, whether it’s conscious or unconscious.

2) Experiment with some scent-sational aphrodisiacs.

Recent studies conducted by the Smell and Taste Research Foundation in Chicago found some powerful smells to boost his arousal (3). Specifically, the combined scent of lavender and pumpkin pie, as well as donuts and black licorice, increased blood flow to the penis by nearly 40 percent! Buy some pumpkin pie spice or lavender candles and place them around the house… and see how the sparks fly!

3) Smell-train your partner.

In general, women have a keener sense of smell than men. By wearing certain scents which your partner enjoys, he will be more attentive. An interesting cue that could subtly tell him that you’re in the mood, would be to put a few dabs of your favorite perfume on the nape of your neck and behind your ears. When he picks up this scent, he’ll know that all systems are go!
Questions for reflection:

• So what scent turns you on?
• What turns your partner on?

Experiment with various combinations of smells and create your own signature relationship smell.

Please share your findings with me and the other readers. ..Who knows, maybe your “scent” suggestions will spark up someone else’s presently dormant sex life!

Citations:
1. Yamazaki, K., Yamaguchi, M., Baranoski, L., Bard, J., Boyse, E.A. & Thomas, L. (1979). Journal of Experimental Medicine, 150: 755-760.
2. Wedekind, C., Seebeck.T., Bettens, F. & Paepke, AJ., (1995). MHC-Dependent Mate Preferences in Humans. Proceedings of the Royal Society of London, Series B: Biological Sciences, vol. 260 (n. 1359): 245-249.
3. http://www.senseofsmell.org/sosi-bookshelf-detail.php?value=Sensuality&cat=Sensuality

Sex preserves vaginal health – use it or lose it!

“Use it or lose it” is literally true in the case of vaginal health!

Many studies in postmenopausal women have shown that they suffer less vaginal pain and atrophy, and less thinning of the vaginal lining, when they are having consistent sexual activity.  Vaginal atrophy can lead to vaginal dryness and itching, as well as urinary tract infections.  In women, sex increases blood flow to the vagina, keeping vaginal tissues more supple and lubricated – all of which can lead to less pain with intercourse as we age.

What do women and men look for in a long-term partner?

Any guesses as to which qualities men and women rank highest when looking for a long-term partner?

Women:
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Is it okay to fantasize about someone else during sex with your partner?

Sometimes, you or your partner may need to fantasize about someone else to become aroused and stimulated.  More than four out of 10 Americans enjoy sexual fantasies and erotica to boost their libidos.  As with  most things in life, moderation is key.  If you are fantasizing about someone else every time you are with your partner in an intimate way, then there is a problem.  What needs to be explored is why you aren’t fantasizing about your partner.  Does your partner still stimulate you?  Are you still attracted to him?  His body?  His scent?  By not discussing these issues together, you are being dishonest with yourself and your partner regarding the true state of your relationship.

A Few Time-Saving Tips for Busy Women

clock.freephoto credit:  Melinda Nagy

When your husband is involved in a task and you ask him a question, have you been met with the answer “Can’t you see that I’m busy?” or with a request to come back when he is finished?

If the tables were turned and you were the one being interrupted while involved in a task, would there be an overall assumption that the interruption would somehow be more acceptable?

Would you feel blame and guilt if you were not able to juggle multiple duties at the same time?

Women must learn to assess their capabilities.  It’s not a failure to say “no”.  In fact,
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Romantic, Inexpensive and Fun Ways to Enhance Your Relationship

Brrrr…it’s cold outside!  But things can still stay steaming hot between you and your partner!  Here are some ideas that the two of you can try when you want to spend some fun bonding time together while keeping to your budget…

  1. Game night! A game of Scrabble, Trivial Pursuit, Guitar Hero, charades, or Twister with some snacks and music can make for a night of laughs and great memories.
  2. Take a walk with each other in the park or, if there’s snow, put your mittens on and get the sled out!  Being outdoors together is invigorating and fun.
  3. Turn your bathroom into a romantic, calming spa.  Sensual lavender
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